Caring for a loved one, a mother, father, spouse, or partner, who is living with dementia can be many things at once. It can be meaningful, deeply loving, and at times even tender. It can also be exhausting, financially draining, and, in many moments, profoundly thankless.
Dementia does not present the same way in every person. Some become softer, more docile, almost childlike in their demeanor. But for many, the experience is far more difficult. Fear, confusion, loss of control, and neurological change can manifest as anger, suspicion, judgment, and even paranoia.
And often, those emotions are directed at the person closest to them.
The caregiver.
We can do very little to reshape our loved one’s perception or behavior as the disease progresses. What we can do is develop a context, a way of seeing and understanding, that allows us to remain steady, to not internalize the harshness, and to continue showing up with presence and care.
