Op-Ed: When Love Drains the Bank Account – The Financial Toll of Family Caregiving

And yet, we rarely talk about it.

In a country where the average family already walks a tightrope to afford housing, food, child care, and health insurance, the addition of unpaid caregiving—especially for chronic conditions like dementia—can tip everything into collapse. Caregivers don’t just lose sleep; they lose savings. They don’t just feel emotionally stretched; they are financially hollowed out.

It’s time we pull these truths out from under the table.

The Reality Few Want to Face
The costs of caregiving are rarely sudden—they’re slow, relentless, and often hidden in plain sight. The average annual cost of care for someone with dementia ranges from $50,000 to $100,000, depending on the level of need and location. Yet many family caregivers receive little to no financial support and continue to work reduced hours—or leave the workforce entirely—to meet the demands of full-time care.

According to AARP, unpaid family caregivers provide an estimated $600 billion worth of care in the U.S. each year. That’s more than the entire federal Medicaid budget. And yet most caregivers receive nothing in return—no paycheck, no tax credit, no pension contribution, and often, no recognition.
Worse still, caregiving doesn’t just add expenses—it reduces income. One adult child caring for a parent with Alzheimer’s may lose not only wages but promotions, retirement savings, and Social Security credits. The long-term financial fallout can last decades.

And for families already living close to the edge, it can be the breaking point.

Real Lives, Real Losses
Consider a middle-income household already juggling mortgage payments, student loans, and child care. Now imagine a parent or spouse is diagnosed with dementia. Suddenly, someone must reduce their work hours—or leave their job entirely—to provide supervision. Out-of-pocket expenses pile up: adult diapers, safety modifications, medical co-pays. Eventually, the family taps into savings. Then the equity in the home. And then, sometimes, into debt.

This isn’t theoretical. It’s the lived experience of millions of families across the country.

They aren’t making headlines. They aren’t staging protests. They’re doing what caregivers always do: showing up quietly, consistently, and often invisibly—while slowly going broke.

What Caregivers Need Isn’t a Luxury—It’s a Lifeline
Recognizing the financial toll of caregiving isn’t about charity. It’s about justice. We can’t continue to treat family caregiving as a private matter with no public implications.

These caregivers are doing work the healthcare and long-term care systems cannot function without. If even a fraction of them stopped, the economic impact would be seismic.

So what would real support look like?

• Tax credits for caregiving expenses, including home modifications and in-home care.
• Paid family leave that includes eldercare—not just parental leave.
• Retirement credits for time spent caregiving, so a decade of unpaid work doesn’t mean poverty in old age.
• Caregiver stipends, as some states and countries already offer—especially for those who leave the workforce to provide care.

At the very least, we need visibility. A national conversation. An acknowledgment that caregiving isn’t just emotional labor. It’s financial labor. It’s unpaid labor. And it is, increasingly, unsustainable without help.

Caregivers Don’t Want Pity. They Want to Be Seen.
To the caregivers selling cars to pay for care, cashing out 401(k)s, or quietly giving up the dreams they once had: you are not alone.

You’re not irresponsible, or a poor planner, or somehow failing. You are doing one of the hardest and most generous things a human can do—and our systems are failing you.

So let’s stop treating family caregiving as an afterthought.

Let’s stop hiding its costs behind closed doors.

And let’s start recognizing caregiving for what it is: essential, sacred, and deserving of real support—not just kind words, but policies that meet families where they are: stretched, loving, and too often, one bill away from financial ruin.

We legitimize and support those recovering from a heart attack or fighting cancer. It’s time we offer the same to those who carry the invisible burden of caregiving—day after day, year after year. They are saving lives. It’s time we help them save their own.